A Debtor’s POV: I Want to Pay Back, But I Just Can’t

October 25, 2025
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Never in a thousand years did I imagine that I was ever going to be in debt.

Looking back now, I am immensely grateful for getting through that period. I went through some personal issues and needed urgent cash. Initially, I was sure that I was going to pay back, but I didn’t understand how or where the money was going to come from.

I think that was my first mistake; in my defense, I was very desperate and in a tight spot. There is a way desperation makes you do the wildest things, and only after the storm is over, ‘your eyes go clear’.

I am aware there are creatively wicked and evasive debtors, ones that you will have to chase to get your money. It’s one of the reasons I felt extremely sad and burdened when I owed money.

I could not explain that I was really a good person and that I was trying by all means to pay back my debt. That season was a low one for me. I was trying by all means but I could not keep up. It took a toll on me emotionally and weighed heavily on my heart.

You might be asking what changed, how I was able to pay back and all. I’ll walk you through some of the things I did.

I was fed up with everything I was going through, and I came across a YouTube ad on financial literacy and some paid course like that.

Of course, I did not have the money to purchase any online course, but instead, I began looking for content that talked about repaying debt, money management, budgeting, and the like. And gradually, I was able to pay back, but it was one arduous journey.

Here’s what I learned and what I did:

Communicate All the Time

I think this is one thing people fail to do when they are owing. If you cannot pay up within the agreed time, communicate and let the person know. Don’t leave people wondering where their money disappeared. The convo may be awkward and humbling, but it’s better than silence.

Ignoring the person you owe doesn’t just look bad. It breaks trust and makes you feel even worse. Even if you have to say, “I’m so sorry, I can only send this little amount this week,” it’s wayyy better than vanishing.

Plan It

I know this sounds generic, but it is true. There was no way to wish or pray the debt away or hope a bag of money would fall from the sky. I had to get real and create an actual repayment plan.

First, I listed everyone I owed and exactly how much. Then, I decided how much I could realistically pay each month, even if it was tiny. Seeing it on paper made it feel manageable.

Budget and Cut Off Unnecessary Expenses

This was the painful part. I had to track every single dime . I mean everything. Subscriptions I wasn’t really using? Canceled. Eating out? Nope.

It was not about depriving myself forever, but I was telling my money exactly where to go. Right then, every spare cent needed to go toward getting me out of that hole and getting my peace of mind back.

Take On More Jobs

This one is tough, especially when you’re already emotionally drained, but it was necessary for me. I looked for side hustles, freelance gigs, anything I could do to bring in extra income.

This part was exhausting, but seeing the balance actually go down, even slowly, was the motivation I needed to keep pushing.

If you are in that ‘low season’ right now, I see you. It can feel like you’re drowning, and the shame is overwhelming.

Please know that you are not a bad person. You are just a person in a tight spot. The journey out of debt is not easy, and it is not quick, but it is definitely possible.

Looking back, the problem was not even the debt but the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness.

Taking those small steps by budgeting, communicating, and trying to earn more definitely helped me. I was also able to prove to myself, and to those I owed, that I was reliable and trustworthy. The relief of being debt-free is incredible, but the pride in knowing I kept my word, even when it was hard, is everything.

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