AURA FOR AURA: How to Guard from Unsolicited Advice and Nosy Questions

September 21, 2025
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My eyes have seen plenty things for this life o.

I completed my master’s program in Russia three months ago and since then, I have come to understand that a lot of people don’t understand the word ‘privacy.’

Some questions just should not be asked, especially if you’re not close enough to that person. The questions I have been getting from people have me confused. Yeah, some people genuinely ask and hope for the best for me, but for others, I can’t help but think that they have ulterior motives.

As someone that has studied abroad for a long time, I don’t really have a lot of people knowing my business, so it was a shock to me that after graduating, family members, friends, and even people I haven’t spoken to in years started reaching out. With their congratulations came unsolicited questions.

I generally keep to myself a lot and I got so fed up that at some point, I just ignored most of those messages. Someone even shared my contact without my consent, all in the name of matchmaking.

If you have ever been in my shoes, I think I have the perfect responses for those weird questions you get.

“When will you marry?”: Now, the answer to this question depends on who is asking. Your parents and a few elderly people will sincerely want to know, obviously, and they might be on your neck consistently. Don’t be rude, just tell them plainly what your situation is like.
But you see those aunties and uncles that want to use it as an opportunity to frustrate you? Give it to them straight—”Whenever a man deserving of me appears and I am ready. Or are you sponsoring the wedding?” You can also use my personal favorite, a sweet smile and a simple, “It’s in God’s hands.” They can’t argue with the Almighty.
“Are you coming back home?”: Hmm, this question might sound harmless, but it’s giving monitoring spirit, and I am not about to divulge my plans to someone I don’t trust.
This question usually comes before “so you can start contributing to the family project” or “so we can find you a husband.” Just laugh and tell them you’re still figuring things out and you can’t say. If they keep asking, just block them! Your peace of mind is important.
“What are your plans?”: My plans are mine, not for me to broadcast. The amount of times I have had to change the topic, ehn. The best response to this one is a vague but cheerful “Ah, I am just taking things slowly o. I’m in my ‘soft life’ era, enjoying the fruits of my labor. I will figure things out gradually.”
It tells them nothing while making you sound like you have everything under control. What are they going to say to that?
“Are you working? How much are you earning?”: Tch, it’s a no-brainer that anyone asking this question, unless they’re your financial advisor or someone close to you, is asking for trouble. Give it to them. I had to bluntly ask one ‘big aunty’ like that, “Why do you ask?” They’re doing this so that they can know how to bill you, use your head.
A solid response is, “I’m earning enough to be comfortable, thank you.” If they press for a number, just say, “I don’t discuss my finances; it’s a personal rule.” Be firm. It’s not their business.
“You’ve added weight o! / Ah, you’ve become slim!”: Whether you gain or lose weight, they will be there to comment. This is not a greeting; it’s an unauthorized audit of your beautiful vessel. Just say, “Am I not looking good? It’s the glow of my Master’s degree.”
“So-and-so’s daughter got a job at so-and-so place. Have you applied there?”: The comparison committee has arrived. This question is designed to plant a seed of doubt in your mind, and you need to kill it immediately.
Just respond by saying, “That’s so wonderful for her! We all have our own unique paths and timelines, and I’m loving the direction mine is taking.” Aura for aura.
“So what can you even do with that degree?”: This one is a subtle jab, meant to undermine your achievement. They’re basically asking you to justify your years of hard work to them. Don’t bother. Just look at them with a mysterious glint in your eye and say, “Absolutely anything I want.” Then, change the subject.
“Now that you’ve finished from school, you should be able to send us small something now!”: The International Bank of You has officially been declared open without your consent. This isn’t a question; it’s a demand disguised as a joke.
The billing that will come after this if you keep quiet will shock you. Laugh it off, but make sure you let them know that there’s no money anywhere and you’re not sending anything.

Say something along these lines: “Hahaha, you think they attach a bag of money to the degree certificate? As soon as the millions start rolling in, I’ll remember you o!” Keep it light, keep it moving, and most importantly, keep your wallet closed. Protect your energy and your bank account.

Don’t say I didn’t do anything for you o. Have an amazing week.

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