How to Get Your Money Back from Debtors (Plus Extra Tips if You’re a Debtor Yourself)

Money is a touchy subject, especially when it comes to friends and family. It’s easy to lend someone money when they need it, but getting it back can be a different story altogether.

They might just disappear- suddenly their phone number is unreachable, their social media activity is suspiciously silent, and they seem to have vanished into thin air. 

When someone owes you money, it can create an awkward situation that can potentially damage your relationship.

But fear not! With the right approach and a little bit of violence, you can get your money back without losing the person. In this article, we’ll go through ten ways to approach someone who owes you money and get your money back while still keeping the relationship intact.

  1. The Friendly Reminder: Sometimes all it takes is a friendly reminder to jog your debtor’s memory. Try sending a polite message or making a phone call to check in and ask when they plan to make their payment. Be careful not to come across as too aggressive or confrontational, as this may cause them to become defensive and less willing to cooperate.
  1. Highlight Your Own Financial Needs: Another approach is to emphasize the impact that their failure to repay the loan is having on your own financial situation. Explain how the money was meant for a specific purpose, such as paying bills or covering expenses, and how their delay in repayment is causing you additional stress and financial strain. This may motivate them to prioritize your payment over other expenses.
  1. Ask for Your Money Back in Writing: If all else fails, it may be time to get more formal with your request. Write a letter or email outlining the terms of the loan agreement, including the amount borrowed, the repayment deadline, and any interest or fees that may have accrued. Be sure to include a clear deadline for repayment and any consequences for failure to do so.
  1. Offer an Alternative Payment Plan: If your friend is struggling to pay you back in full, you can offer an alternative payment plan that works for both of you. For example, they could pay you back in installments or offer to provide a service instead of paying cash.
500 Indian rupee banknote
  1. Make it a Joint Effort: If you’re in a group of friends and someone owes you money, you can get the group involved in helping you get your money back. You could all approach the person together and make it clear that it’s not just you who wants the money back.
  1. Use Humor: Humor can be a great way to break the tension and make the conversation less awkward. You can make a joke about the situation, but make sure it’s not offensive or aggressive. For example, “Hey, I’m starting to think I should have charged you interest on that loan!”
  1. Give Them a Deadline: Sometimes, people need a bit of pressure to get things done. Setting a deadline for when you expect to be paid back can be an effective way to get your money back. You can say something like, “I need that money back by the end of the month, otherwise, I’ll have to start charging interest.”
  1. Make Them Feel Guilty: This one’s a bit risky, but it can be effective if done correctly. You can say something like, “I’m really disappointed that you haven’t paid me back yet. I thought I could count on you to do the right thing.”
close-up photo of assorted coins
  1. Bring Up Past Favours: If your friend owes you money and you’ve done them favours in the past, it’s okay to bring that up. You can say something like, “Remember when I helped you move last month? I could really use that money back now.”
  1. Involve a Third Party: If you’re still having trouble getting your money back, consider enlisting the help of a mutual friend or family member who can serve as a mediator. This person may be able to help facilitate a conversation and find a mutually agreeable solution.
  1. Set Boundaries: While it’s important to be patient and understanding, you also need to set clear boundaries to ensure that you’re not being taken advantage of. Let the person know that you expect them to honor their commitment and pay you back as agreed.
  1. Consider Legal Action: If all else fails, you may need to consider taking legal action to get your money back. This can be a last resort, but sometimes it’s necessary to protect your financial interests. Consider reaching out to a lawyer or legal advisor to discuss your options.
person getting 1 U.S. dollar banknote in wallet

Getting your money back from a friend can be a tricky situation, but it doesn’t have to ruin your friendship. By using these ten approaches, you can get your money back while still keeping the relationship intact. Remember to approach the situation with a positive attitude and a sense of humor. Keep in mind that everyone has different financial situations, so be open to finding a solution that works for both of you.

Ultimately, the key is to communicate clearly and respectfully, and to remain patient and understanding throughout the process. With a little bit of persistence and creativity, you can get your money back and maintain your friendship at the same time.


What To Do if You’re the Debtor

Let’s face it, life can be unpredictable, and sometimes unexpected expenses can leave us in a tough spot. If you find yourself in debt to someone, it’s important to take responsibility for your actions and work towards repaying your debt. Here are some tips on how to handle it:

  1. Be Honest: The first step to resolving any debt is to be honest about your financial situation. Don’t make promises you can’t keep or try to avoid the person who is owed money. Instead, be upfront about your ability to pay and work together to find a solution.
man in gray hoodie sitting on chair
  1. Communicate Clearly: Good communication is key to resolving any financial issue. Be clear about when you can make payments and how much you can afford to pay at a time. If you’re having trouble making payments, let the person know as soon as possible so you can work together to find a solution.
  1. Don’t Make Excuses: While it’s important to explain your situation, avoid making excuses or blaming external factors for your inability to pay. Instead, focus on finding solutions that work for both parties.
  1. Keep Records: Whenever you make a payment, be sure to keep a record of it. This can help you track your progress and avoid any confusion or misunderstandings.
  1. Consider Negotiating: If you’re having trouble making payments, consider negotiating with the person you owe money to. You could suggest a payment plan or ask for an extension, but be prepared to offer something in return, such as a higher interest rate or a security deposit.
  1. Stay Committed: Once you’ve made a commitment to repay your debt, it’s important to stay committed to it. Make payments on time and in full, and be transparent about any changes in your financial situation.
  1. Seek Professional Help: If you’re struggling to manage your debt, consider seeking professional help from a financial advisor or counselor. They can offer guidance and support to help you get back on track.

Remember, the most important thing when it comes to resolving debt is to be honest, transparent, and committed. By taking responsibility for your financial obligations and working together with the person you owe money to, you can find a solution that works for both parties.

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