Omo, it is still doing me like a dream. I am graduating from university in a few weeks and the months up until this moment have been filled with mixed emotions. I went from getting super excited that I was about to graduate to getting depressed that my uni days were about to come to an end and then the tension of defending my project and planning for graduation.
Don’t get me wrong o. I have after graduation plans but it is an entirely different story when the said time comes and those plans you have made have to suddenly become your reality.
The weird thing about being in the final year is that everyone thinks you should have it together and know what you are doing, but for most people, this is far from the truth. A lot of us graduate with little or no idea of what we want to do or how to go about life outside the university.
The pressure from everywhere can almost run you down and you begin to question yourself. Experiencing all these emotions in a span of months is crazy I tell you. Suddenly everyone you meet wants to talk about after-school plans, marriage or the future but me I just want to eat and live abeg.
Back to how I was feeling in the past few months…
Remember how I said I was excited to be graduating, I truly was. I mean who wouldn’t be? After 5 straight years in the university, all these feelings soon evaporated when I realised what was before me.
I was going to miss my uni days- and not the studying part o! But the part about chilling with friends, having free time and the numerous times people would send me money because I was a student.
My project defence nko? First, it was like my supervisor had bipolar disorder because one moment she was telling me how I am the best student she has ever supervised and other times she was saying she was not sure if I knew what I was doing. Ah excuse me ma?
Anyway, I defended what I could but hmm it was not an easy period at all, I still shiver when I think of the questions that were thrown at me at the end of my presentation.
The most stressful part of my graduation chronicles would be my being broke and searching for scholarships/ internships.
Graduation and brokenness should not be used in the same sentence. Unfortunately, this is my plight and I now have to suspend most of the plans and dreams I had for my graduation.
I will have to make do with whatever my money can buy, the dresses and shoes in my cart on these online stores are begging to be mine but my account balance says otherwise. You see I have a lot of reasons to be feeling overwhelmed and depressed.
Nobody prepared me for how stressful getting a scholarship can be. I have been asked to submit so many documents that I’ve lost count, e remain to submit my mother’s birth certificate like this. The rejection letters nko? Hmm, let’s not even go there. All because I want to study more, and it is sad to realise that I will not be completely done with school anytime soon.
In all of this, I find solace in the fact that it will not always be like this, life comes in phases and this is the phase where I have to toughen up and pass through, hopefully with my mental health intact.
Another thing that has kept me sane and somehow hopeful is that it will all be worth it in the end, all my hard work and studying will yield the best results for me in the long run.
During this period I have begun to cherish the power of taking long walks while eating ice cream, damn! It’s therapeutic, I tell you for free. It’s like at that moment I left all my problems in my room and I am just on the streets jamming music and appreciating every other thing.
I sometimes go with friends and it’s a very good way of relieving stress, you should try it, I recommend it 100%
I still find time to cook nice meals for myself while relishing my last days as an undergraduate, it still feels surreal but here I am.
Did I also mention how all of a sudden all my crushes from before are now suddenly interested in me? I’ve been asking myself exactly what was going on, maybe it is the graduation glow ( inserts smiles). Although, I highly doubt that considering the stress I have been subjected to these past months.
Anyway, I honestly think I am handling everything very well. Even on days where I have some turmoil on what decision to take, I don’t allow it to get to me too deep.
My fellow soon-to-be graduates, I understand this period can be stressful but relax, it is just for a while.
Y’all should have an amazing week. I remain your fav anonymous graduate.
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