I have tasted love without money and ‘Tueh’ (spits out in disgust), it’s not even sweet at all. Wait, wait, don’t judge me. Hear me out first.
This happened a while back and one would think my history with men would have made me act more sensibly but no, I was in ‘love’. Yes, the love is in quotes because looking back now, that couldn’t have been love. It was far from it.
Well let’s dive into it. I met him at a work function. I was just climbing up the ladder in my career at that time but I was already making good money. I made sure that I attended different functions that would make me meet people and establish new connections.
After the event, I saw him talking to someone in the meeting and I assumed he was also a delegate. He caught my eye immediately but I had no one to introduce us and I didn’t want to approach him.
I later went to get water from the dispenser and I saw him standing there. My mind thought it was fate, so we started talking and exchanging numbers. Turns out his sister was the caterer for the function I was attending and he came to help.
However, he did not tell me this until weeks into our conversation. That should have set alarms in my head right? Nah, it didn’t, I was in love.
I got to know a few things about him along the line, including the fact that he didn’t have a stable job and was just helping his sister out in her catering business. He didn’t inform me of his plans either. I just knew he graduated and got a job at some point but lost it.
I overlooked all of these because I thought money wasn’t that important, love should be the principal thing. I would visit his small apartment with meals I cooked and groceries I bought. He would thank me profusely and talk about how I was too good for him and the best thing that ever happened to him.
I would send him money often and if we went out I paid for most of the bill. I knew he was not being clear about his income. Apart from what his sister’s business brought him, I knew he occasionally did MC for some events and that brought him cash from time to time. He never really told me how much he earned but I knew I was earning significantly more than him.
He never bought me special gifts- maybe a little chocolate on rare occasions or cake and drinks. Whereas I would go all out for him, I bought him clothes, jewellery and all sorts of nice things. I always thought since I had the money, why not spend it on him? I felt if the tables were turned he would do the same.
I was wrong.
We had been together for about eight months and I was in his apartment one afternoon when his phone lit up with a credit alert for a large sum of money. His balance even shocked me. I brought it up and said I was happy for him. He immediately tried to brush it aside and said it was just small money the event he coordinated over the weekend paid him for.
I was sceptical. I mean, if he was receiving such amounts from time to time, what was he then doing with the money? When was he ever going to tell me what he was making and what his plans were? I kept all these to myself and hoped that things would change.
My birthday was exactly one week after that incident. I fantasised a lot about what he would get me but guys, I was in for a shock. There was no fancy restaurant or home-cooked meal. There was nothing special at all. I only got a birthday card with his fingerprint in blue ink and a mini cake.
I was not happy at all. Well, excuse me if I expected more but it was my first birthday with him and the account balance I saw a week before and the gifts he got me were not tallying at all. As the good girl that I was, I swallowed all I could have said and just continued loving my prince haha.
The stick that broke the camel’s back, or how do they say it, was when he asked me a few days after that I hadn’t told him how much I made in the past few months and that he missed my cooking.
At that point I was livid, I was already determined not to spend a dime on him till he was wise enough to ask. Normally, when I got bonuses from work, I would send him some cash and would make elaborate meals. But since the incident on my birthday, I did none of that. I replied and asked that he tell me exactly how much he had made in the past few months and why he was not willing to spend even so little on me.
He shrugged and said he was not making a lot and that it didn’t matter since I was obviously making more. I felt he was lying and laid everything bare. I told him he was not being nice to me and even called him stingy and brought up my birthday and how he did practically nothing to celebrate me.
He started saying that I was acting childish and that he was a man and could decide whether or not he should celebrate me in a grand style. Hearing all these from him was like someone poured cold water on my body. I broke up with him right there and told him to lose my number.
So you see why I said love without money is not sweet. I sincerely loved him but he wasn’t showing me that he loved me. No matter how broke you are, once you love someone you will be willing to spend on them and go all out for them. I was not so rich at that time but I made sure I spent what I had on him.
Or was I expecting too much?
There were a lot of things I started considering after that break up that made me realise he was not the one for me. His lack of plans or vision just made me even more solid in my decision. I left him for good and I am never trying anything like that again.
If you still think I did the wrong thing, na you sabi o…
