‘He/she is living abroad. They must have a lot of money.’ This is probably what goes on in the mind of those friends and family members that won’t stop billing you every month.
In fact, they’re now expecting that that you send them money for ‘upkeep’ as often as possible.
But you’re getting tired. You either don’t have the money they’re asking for or you have your own plans which are constantly being disrupted by their entitlement behaviour.
When you see their message, you just switch off your data or pretend to be busy so you don’t have to reply. It’s really getting too much.
What do you do now?
1. Don’t take it personally. Let’s try to understand.
People are probably asking you for money because they believe you are doing way better than them.
So it’s possible that they sincerely believe you have a lot of money to spare and they’ll only get their share by asking for it.
TEAM ‘The violent take it by force.’
This one is very easy to settle. Just talk about it.
Schedule an urgent call. “I understand you believe I have a lot of money but the reality is I’m also in the trenches.”
“I am not working so I don’t have any excess money.’- if you’re a student.
“I just started working but it is barely enough to cater for my needs.”
“I have several plans (explain if you can) and I need a lot of money to reach them.)
They might understand if they’re your immediate family members. If they don’t understand, it’s time to proceed to the next level.
2. Give gifts (a.k.a. become Father/Mother Christmas) or don’t give.
Either you move to the next level of absolute violence where you are very strict or you adopt a lifestyle of moderate giving and forgetting.
You should only give out money to close family members when you’re certain it won’t put a strain on your relationship in the long run.
This also means you shouldn’t give out money that will have serious financial consequences for you.
You can regularly dedicate a particular amount of money to give out, not to those who just feel entitled, but to people who really need it and without expecting to get it back.
This way you can give cheerfully and be sure you’re not being forced to give anything outside of your plans.
3. Set boundaries. Be strict with your own plans.
There’s no way you will explain to your family and friends that’s you don’t have money when you’re always flaunting the latest Apple devices around.
If you have the money, give to them. If you don’t have the money, stop living like you have it. Don’t confuse us.
If you have plans for the future, start planning and saving strictly now.
Don’t deceive yourself. You’re not sending money to those who need it but you’re also not using it very wisely.
The bottom line is— give when you have and be honest when you don’t have. Don’t be selfish when you can afford to take care of those who depend on you. But don’t keep giving money when your can’t even take care of yourself.
Be responsible with your finances. Reckless money affairs with close friends and family will only lead to damaged relationships.
4 Responses
This is absolutely Wonderful. I resonate with points number 1 and 3 so very well. They’re valid to help you not run insane from numerous calls and demands.
Send money only to those in need and have a monthly spend limit for family or friends.
Thanks esolutions 🙌
You are very right… I travelled abroad precisely to Russia in February, 2022 and I have not gotten balanced yet. A friend called and said he wanted beer money from me, so i told he should remind me after work the next morning. Which he did and i just sent him 2k and the receipt, the next thing he said,”i thought you are sending 100k and you even sent 2k with the receipt” … I want surprised and i told him i needed to sleep because my job is night job…that is how i left his conversation. I told myself that, i will never entertain that kind of giving in my life again
My friends and family stopped asking me for money when I decided to stop posting photos on my Facebook and WhatsApp status, because I realized I have a lot to do with money, so whenever they as me for money that I know they can survive without I tell them I don’t have and that I’m also seriously in need of money at the moment.
🤣🤣 If you have the money, give to them. If you don’t have the money, stop living like you have it. Don’t confuse us.🤣🤣
I like the setting boundaries and being strict part. But this writer was actually taking it easy on the explanation and mostly I like the part that was advised to know how to manage and save your incomes .
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️